Pleasant kids, just a tase away!!

It seems every time we Moms go to the store we are challenged with the decision to take or not to take the kids, we suddenly recall the last store adventure and that we swore to ourselves repeatedly "I am not taking the kids to the store AGAIN, this time I mean it", but than our guilty conscience kicks in and we start to get delusional and choose denial over reality and start to think, well they weren't that bad, maybe this time they will be better, I should at least give them another shot.....although statistics of past store ventures would support our initial instincts to NOT take them, we still choose to do the unthinkable yet again and again, we take them.....seems to be a pattern with us woman, how many times have we dated the jerk and said "this is it, I will NOT take him back", yet we do, and until he dumps us....we seem to set ourselves up for disappointment because we are pleasers...pleasers by nature, that God given thing that was meant to be a blessing but has also turned out to be our curse, because people take advantage of us....but God also gave us a brain, isn't his fault we forget to us it and use logical thinking, so as you guessed, I did take them but I didn't forget to use my brain....I brought along some back up....some of my best inventions, camo duct tape and my low voltage taser gun, well for now the taser is just a dog remote bark collar until I can get the kinks worked out of my prototype, kept knocking the kids out cold..not exactly my plan...anyway, I came prepared and this time I was going to win this battle, the collar was nicely disguised by an scarf (thank God it is cold out)....the camo duct tape is skin toned, comes in various tones to match any skin color ,also with various shapes of mouths to suit any face, and when they get to loud or back talk I just stick it on and no one suspects a thing, they just think I have very polite and well mannered kids, it works like a charm....I am currently working on deals to get them at every movie theater and airport so that your movie and flying experience can be a pleasant one, could you imagine a world of sitting through a movie or flight with NO screaming kids, bliss...just bliss!! The collar is one you can adjust the voltage, the lowest setting seems to work just fine for the tiny ones but for 9 yrs old and up use the mid settings... works well for when the kids start to wonder off or fight, just one click of the remote and problem solved, fighting stops....I am in the works on getting my prototype together and getting it approved for parental use, finally our problems could be solved, no more fighting or loud kids at the store, on flights, in movies....even works well at home, the sky is your limit....I use them for various things now, the kids will not get out of bed in the mornings *tase*, talk back *tase*, fight *tase*, we can now regain our sanity and have the kids we always dreamed of..imagine a world of well behaved children, it is just a tase away! And don't forget the camo duct tape, I say regain your sanity, throw out that guilt and stick it to 'em next time!!! Or you could just leave the kids at home!! ;)