Morning Demons

So I wake up like every morning in a half descent mood but real reluctant to awaken the spawns of Satan (that would be my children in the mornings)but because of school I am left with no choice so I grab my cross and bible along with some holy water (that is always my last option and only if needed) and I am off to face my morning demons. I slowly pull back the covers off their heads so I do not get caught off guard and get spit in the eye again with some green slimy crap ,yes exactly like that stuff on the exorcist, except their heads don't spin, at least I haven't had that happen yet, anyway.... back to my morning, after the covers are off I quickly raise my cross and ask them to get up and get ready for school, the bible sits on the bed if for anything to beat the she devil out of them with it,God says spare the rod or spoil the child, well...I don't have a rod, and in this day and age you use a rod you go to jail (jail sounds pretty good about now though), so back to the story....I wish that the Catholics would come out with holy water sprayers...like pepper spray but with holy water in it , I could sure use that in the mornings. So as I move back the covers (slowly) I notice some signs of life in the form of an evil glare (I quickly raise the cross to cover my face) and I try not to temp it too much by over doing it so I ask them nicely the first 666 times to get up and get ready for school, they make all kinds of weird and evil groans and I am tempted to call my Pastor for some sort of exorcism but I quickly recall I am not Catholic and my pastor would probably laugh...at least until he got here than I think he would be calling any Catholic Priest he could find and ASAP, but I finally after 30 minutes working on them and lots of prayers I am able to conquer the beast within and they give up and get dressed, their battles with their inner demons as they get ready are apparent so I keep my cross in hand at all times, I have learned by now how quickly that demon can erupt from within. So they are off to school where their inner angels will rule until they get home. :)