Hedgehogs dreams and gerbils past..

So my daughters want me to get a Hedgehog, not as in the video game Sonic the Hedgehog, which I could do that, they want one of the real ones, with the poky spines and last I recall they are nocturnal..anything that will keep me up after the girls finally go to sleep (and may I mention that can be midnight some nights) is not something I feel would be safe in this house, Momma gets grumpy with lack of sleep and I can not be responsible for my actions in those moments, I would never harm an animal no matter what but my girls on the other hand is a different story, don't get me wrong they would never harm an animal intentionally (not my hippies), more like the Mice of Man kinda harm I am worried about, they would not even realize the harm they would or could inflict on such a tiny creature....every time I even think of them and a tiny creature I can't help but think of some of the gerbil incidents and well than the nightmares start coming back and I just don't know if I can go there again, let me just fill you in, and please be aware some of what I am about to share with you may be graphic in nature and not suitable for the weak hearted... we had several gerbils and they were the cutest and sweetest things in the world, would never harm a fly, than one day came along three little piggies to visit the gerbils, never really wanting to do harm, just wanted to play but the piggies had rules and were not suppose to take the sweet little gerbils out of their cage, but with cat like curiosity the piggies just couldn't resist and snuck one of the gerbils to their room, guess I should have NOT taken that bathroom break, they proceeded to play with the gerbil as a toy, more like a gag gift, and well one of them thought it would be funny to slip that wiggly furry little toy down the back of her sisters panties, her sister squealed (like a pig) and fell to the ground, yes to the ground, yes with the gerbil in her panties...at this point the girls came running out of the bedroom screaming, all I could see was one of my girls had blood all over her panties and they were all hysterical and at this point so was I, as I mentioned before the girls have delays and speech was one of them, expressive language was not their strong point so getting them to explain anything was not easy, all I can get was squalling and pointing so I went to the room, not exactly knowing what to expect or what happened, but there he lays....that poor sweet little *bug eyed* gerbil on the ground lifeless, I tried to get what happened out of them and after several minutes and piecing together the bits (no pun intended, really)...I found out that the gerbil had been flattened by my daughters fall to the ground, and as I cleaned up my daughter and lecturing all of them in the process, explaining why I have rules and one of them was to NOT take the gerbils out without parental guidance for this very reason....I couldn't help but notice the lack of empathy for the gerbil and that scared me, I mean are my girls natural born creature killers....do they get off on such things, so I explain how he would not be coming back, still no real emotion for the gerbil, so until the next doctors appointment I couldn't sleep without one eye open and locks on all the gerbil cages, well the doctor said at 5 years old that is perfectly normal, kids don't always get death and they probably think he will be coming back, they will come to the understanding of death within the next few years....I thought seriously, he was flattened, like a pancake and they did not get that, seems the doctor was right and within the next not just few years but the next few gerbil loses with each death they seemed to start to come to grips with it, and started to realize that when they squish them if not by fanny by hand or close them in a door, or feed them to the neighbors cat, they were not coming back...think the empty cages help to clear that one up for them, the cages were not replenishing themselves and that was an eye popping, eye opening experience for them and myself, taught the girls about death and taught me not to have little creatures in the house, if it is small enough to squish by fanny it is too small for us, and although it has been 4 yrs later and the girls have grown up a lot since and developed empathy I am still not sure they are ready, I mean should I let this Hedgehog be the next guinea pig (more like gerbil) and possibly suffer the consequences at the hands of my girls, do I want that kinda blood on my hands or their panties again....don't know if I am ready for that, every morning my Meagan before she ventures out of site off to class she says "love you Mom, get me a Hedgehog" and I look into those eyes and than I think about the gerbil eyes, and I am torn...to get or not get them a little creature, oh the dilemma. So again I bid you fair well and until tomorrow hope you all have a great day. So like Hedgehog wishes and gerbil filled panties these are not only the dreams of my life (or nightmares) but the squishy parts of my life.

Pantyhose and Psychosis...

Well this morning started out ok, one of the girls (Macy) got up and was getting ready, while the other two were actually moving and we were only 15 minutes into our day, not bad considering their track record. I was in a place of non-familiar territory and at this point felt as though I may be able to actually check out something online real quick and leave the girls to getting ready for one minute without supervision, I mean they are nine years old, what can happen....so as I venture to my Facebook page and proceed to look up a phone number from my inbox I suddenly hear what sounds like something out of the movie One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest, so of course I jump from my seat to see who was possibly killing who and upon arrival I notice my daughter (Macy) dismembering a pair of pantyhose , now I know how big of a pain in the arse pantyhose can be but I never recall killing a pair...she was yanking at them and screaming "there is a hole in this pair",and as I watched I couldn't help but think "bipolar" and well if there wasn't a hole in them than, there sure is now, she proceeds to throw them violently across the room and all the while we were all just a tad dazed and not sure if any of us should approach her in her time of crisis, I am not much of a risk taker these days so I kept my distance, which I think was the smartest choice or I would have been the next item dismembered, she than ran in the room and finally ventures out with a new pair of pantyhose and a smile, guessing these pantyhose are hole free...although the episode makes me question her psychosis I just chalk it off as a bad day and leave it at that, and never dare to tell her she actually has a hole in the back of her new pantyhose as well for fear of instigating another episode, so I just leave it , whats that saying "some things are better left unsaid". Well the morning is getting better and I guess Meagan started to feel left out so of course she has to have an episode as well, although Meagan's was not one of the bipolar kind, hers was one more on the level of Paranoid Schizophrenia kind, her sister is starring at her while she eats, it makes her paranoid so she screams and cries "Macy will not stop watching me eat all the time, it drives me crazy" as she attacks her and tries to dismember her sister, and all I could think of was the three words they used "drives me crazy"...now if any one knows what it is like to be driven crazy, well it is me and my daughters are my cab drivers and my destination is Mucho Loco Blvd, and it is an one way trip with NO outlet. If all it took was a hole in our pantyhose and someone starring at us to drive us crazy, well all Moms would be crazy, and yes we all know you guys (the kids) beg to differ and all Moms are crazy in your book..... in our defense, you did drive us there and drop us off at Mucho Loco Blvd, with NO outlet (may I remind you). So the girls recovered and pretty nicely, they got out the door all intact, no one dismembered, so besides the death of the pantyhose we all survived yet another morning of the usual, the usual scrambling to find ones sanity some where midst the dismembered pantyhose and dense stares, so until tomorrow I bid you all a farewell and hopefully a sane day, So like holes in my pantyhose, this is the frazzle of my life...and every tear derives from a purpose which is bound with some sentiment".